Anandmai Kumar
As we enter this time of year once again, a period when conversations and celebrations often centre around women, it’s important to reflect on a topic that has gained significant attention in recent years: the mental health and well-being of women.
Before delving into discussions about what is necessary and what is not, it’s crucial to first understand the unique experiences and challenges that women face at different stages of their lives.
Allow me to outline these phases, which I believe offer valuable insight into the complexities of a woman’s journey:
Phase 1: From infancy through school and college, this period encompasses the formative years of education, self-discovery, and growth.
Phase 2: This stage involves navigating relationships, building a career, and potentially raising children – a time marked by significant personal and professional development.
Phase 3: As women progress into retirement, encounter the dynamics of becoming an in-law, or experience the loss of a partner, they confront a new set of challenges and adjustments.
Phase 1
Research has underscored a fascinating aspect of foetal development: the absorption of emotional energies from the mother, father, and surrounding environment. In numerous instances, as the female foetus resides in the mother’s womb, she may unwittingly hear detrimental messages such as ‘she is unwanted,’ ‘she belongs to the weaker gender,’ or ‘she is destined for a mediocre life’.
These harmful narratives implant a core belief system within her psyche, fostering feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and a struggle for survival. Conditioned to merely survive rather than thrive, the female child grapples with the weight of these limiting beliefs throughout her life, often encountering events that reinforce these damaging notions.
Consider the profound impact of carrying such burdensome beliefs into each phase of her existence. From infancy through adolescence and beyond, the female’s journey is marked by countless encounters that reaffirm these entrenched convictions. To aid comprehension, here are a few examples of the events she may face during Phase 1 of her life:
Body image issues: Young girls often experience pressure to conform to societal standards of beauty, leading to body image issues, low self-esteem, and potentially eating disorders like anorexia nervosa (restriction in food intake by eating less, and/or exercising more) or bulimia (uncontrolled episodes of overeating).
Skin colour worries: In many cultures, there is a preference for lighter skin tones, leading to discrimination and bias against those with darker complexions. Girls with darker skin may experience internalised racism, bullying, or social exclusion based on their skin colour, which can negatively impact their self-image and mental well-being.
Family issues: Family dynamics and conflicts at home can impact a girl’s mental health, especially if there is parental pressure, neglect, abuse, or other forms of family dysfunction.
Identity and self-discovery: Adolescence is a time of identity formation and self-discovery, which can be confusing and stressful for girls as they navigate questions of gender identity, sexual orientation, and societal expectations.
Pressure to ‘do it all’: Girls may feel pressure to excel in academics, extracurricular activities, and social life while also balancing responsibilities at home, leading to feelings of overwhelm and burnout.
It’s easy to overlook the impact of seemingly small events, but they can lead to significant psychological distress in girls, including anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphic disorder. Obsessing over perceived flaws can disrupt their emotional well-being and hinder their ability to function effectively. Let’s recognise the importance of these struggles and offer our support to those who may be experiencing them, fostering a more empathetic and inclusive community where mental health is prioritised.
Phase 2
Starting this phase of life with the emotional, mental and psychological baggage can be quite challenging for women. Especially if there is no support from the partner, family, peers, etc.
One can encounter and struggle through:
Balancing multiple roles: Women often juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, including those related to their careers, relationships, and family life. Balancing these roles can be overwhelming and lead to feelings of stress, guilt, and inadequacy.
Self-care neglect: Women may prioritise the needs of others over their own well-being, neglecting self-care practices such as exercise, relaxation, and leisure activities. This can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and decreased resilience in coping with stressors.
Isolation and loneliness: Women may feel isolated or lonely, especially if they lack a strong support network or if they experience social isolation due to work or family responsibilities. Feelings of loneliness can negatively impact mental health and well-being.
Career pressures: Women may face discrimination, gender bias, and unequal opportunities in the workplace, which can impact their self-esteem, confidence, and mental well-being. Additionally, the pressure to succeed in a competitive work environment can contribute to burnout, anxiety, and depression.
Relationship strain: Maintaining healthy relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, requires time, effort, and communication. Women may experience conflicts, misunderstandings, or difficulties in their relationships, leading to emotional distress and strain on mental health.
Phase 3
Transitioning to this phase of life often entails confronting deeply ingrained limiting beliefs, shaped by a myriad of experiences, memories, and traumas. These beliefs can create significant barriers, making it challenging to embrace the profound changes that accompany this stage.
Some common challenges faced in this phase include:
Role transitions: Women may experience shifts in their roles and responsibilities as they become retirees. Adjusting to new roles, such as becoming a full-time caregiver for grandchildren or taking on household tasks previously handled by a partner, can be challenging and require adaptation.
Becoming an in-law: The dynamics of becoming an in-law can introduce new stressors, such as navigating relationships with adult children and their spouses, managing boundaries, and negotiating family expectations. Women may experience conflict, resentment, or feelings of being sidelined in their new familial role.
Loss of a partner: The loss of a partner, whether through death or divorce, can be one of the most significant life changes women faces. Grief, loneliness, and emotional upheaval are common reactions to bereavement, and women may also struggle with practical challenges such as adjusting to single life, managing finances alone, and coping with changes in social support networks.
Health challenges: Ageing brings about increased susceptibility to health issues, chronic conditions, and mobility limitations. Women may face physical health challenges that impact their independence, self-esteem, and overall well-being, requiring adjustments to lifestyle, routines, and support systems.
Existential questions: Retirement and later life stages often prompt existential questions about life’s purpose, meaning, and legacy. Women may grapple with issues of identity, mortality, and the search for meaning in the absence of traditional roles and responsibilities.
I cannot stress enough the importance of ‘self-love’, ‘self-care’, and ‘building healthy boundaries’. Just as we prioritise our physical health, it is our responsibility to care for our mental and emotional well-being too.
As a survivor of depression and someone who has faced many of the challenges mentioned above first-hand, I passionately advocate for granting ourselves the same love and care that we so freely give to others.
Let’s initiate our path to mental well-being by adopting simple yet meaningful practices. Remember, criticism or limitations doesn’t make us weak; it’s when we allow it to seep into our beliefs that we lose our resilience.