How to gracefully accept a loss as one accepts victory
Meher Mishra
Sport has always been an important part of my life. My father initially introduced me to tennis as something to keep me busy with, but he was also passionate about the game. The tennis court was where I could truly enjoy not just myself engaging in the sport, but also where I spent quality time with my father. It didn’t take long for tennis to become second nature to me.
After observing my progress, my coach advised me to register with All India Tennis Association (AITA) to showcase my talent in competitive tournaments. At my first tournament, I won the championship trophy for the Under-12 and Under-14 categories and began my journey up the leaderboard. My confidence grew as I went on to defeat older and higher-ranked players in both singles and doubles matches. I rode on that wave of confidence until that wave started collapsing underneath me.
Winning matches came with expectations from others, including my father who expected me to win every match. As I made my way to play an unseeded player in a tournament where I was seeded first, I overheard people speak of how confident they were in my skills that they wouldn’t need to wish me luck. When the match began, a crowd gathered to watch me play, and I suddenly felt the pressure to impress the audience. I couldn’t focus on my match, committing careless mistakes and losing to my unseeded opponent.
I played the next match with the burden of the previous loss looming over me. At crucial points where I ought to have been present, my mind replayed events from the past match. Following that, it was as if I had lost my fire, and nothing my coach or father said to me could kindle the flame back to life. Every match I went on to play afterwards resulted in my loss. I experience anxiety attacks before matches, gasping for air and losing control over my own body. Dealing with my match losses was one thing, but feeling like I had let down my father was the worst of it.
Till one day I read a quote by Billie Jean King who said, “Pressure is a privilege – it only comes to those who earn it.” That was when I realised I had only two choices: either feel sorry for myself and give up or fight back against my fear. I entered the Super Series tournament as a wild card entry, as my ranking had fallen below the required range. I started from scratch before qualifying for the main draw and surprisingly facing the top seed in the first round.
Because I was the underdog, my anxiety had diminished at this point. What was the worst thing that could happen? If I were to lose a match, I would just try again and again. What’s important is that I did not flee when faced with hardship.
I gave that match my all, and I won. This was a win I needed. I went on to play one match after another, I won a lot and lost a few, but I did not give up. I finally understood that winning and losing are part of the game, and I had to learn to lose with the same grace that I accepted my victories.
Having gone through that, I have developed a greater appreciation for athletes and professionals who were at the top of their game when they were dealt with difficult circumstances but chose to persevere. This experience has taught me that there will always be pressure, anxiety, and self-doubt, but you cannot let these thoughts mess with your mind and keep you from being the best version of yourself.