Parenting involves all the members of the family, it is important to identify and focus on these vital aspects.
Chandrashekhar Ojha
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In the first part of the series we discussed the need of good parenting, the dilemma the parents’ face, their strength and weakness and the best course they can adopt in this scenario. We agreed that the copy paste of parenting practices is not possible, it will be better if the knowledgeable, concerned and resourceful new age parents are given an input on what are the different areas they should focus on, they will be able to form their own parenting policy and work on it. We all are aware that parenting is a project, which involves all the members of the family and many subjects. It is important that we identify such subjects and also elaborate on what to focus on so that the young parents can work upon the same.
I have gathered all my experience and observations to put together the following points, which a parent needs to focus on. Let’s check them out:
I am sure if parents focus on all these aspects in forming their parenting policy and while working on it, they will be able to get the desired outcomes. Everyone will agree that these topics are important and generally considered by all the parents. I agree but also disagree. These are there at ‘the back of the mind’ as it is popularly mentioned, but unless one realises the importance of them and keeps them in focus, there is bound to be omissions on one or the other point. When we approach parenting, consciously keeping them in mind, there are no chances that some of these vital points are missed. Because, if we miss anything it’s too late by the time we realise it.
We will try to understand them in brief here so that we are aligned before we move further, when we will be discussing each one of them in separate dedicated articles.
- Integrity and character: Character of a person is the framework on which all other virtues and vices are built making what is known as personality. Even the other points, which will be discussed henceforth, will be dependent upon the integrity and character and hence this should be the first on the parenting agenda of any parent. Once you have been able to crack it, half the work is almost done.
- Culture and society: Children are a part of a long legacy of culture and are going to be a part of the society. Hence it is very important that parents make the child aware of the culture and society the child belongs to and imbibe the important aspects and practices of the same. This is very important for grounding children with their roots and makes them conscious of the heritage so that they can make efforts in keeping the same alive.
- Health and fitness: In the times where online activities are snatching the time from the offline ones, parents need to focus on the health and fitness of the child right from the beginning. A healthy and fit child will grow to become a strong person, both internally and externally to face the challenges of the times to come.
- Artistic vision: Art is not just a tool to make the surroundings more beautiful, but it has got a lot of immediate and long term benefits for the child. It is very important to introduce the child to art, and that too in the right manner, so that the child gets all the benefits, like becoming more observant, creative and innovative and many more. Art should not be taken as merely a subject, but a life tool by parents and handled accordingly.
- Scientific temperament: Just like art, science is also not just a subject. It’s a way to look at the things around. Having an analytical approach towards everything around and looking at the cause for everything happening around, is precisely what we mean here. The child may become a scientist, a medical professional a businessperson or a soldier, artistic vision and scientific temperament will be very helpful to them in life.
- Learning attitude: We are living in a world full of information overload, but information has to be converted into knowledge for making it useful. Here I find problems, mainly with the people, who are responsible for instilling this attitude in children, parents and educators. It’s our duty to motivate the child to cultivate an attitude of learning, which will help the child succeed in life.
- Exposure and communication: We have seen around us that many children might possess valued degrees and diplomas, opt for the subject of their choice and might be knowledgeable in their own discipline, but beyond that they don’t know anything. We feel that every person should hold basic knowledge about everything around. Also I have noticed that people in general don’t know how to communicate well and hence are unable to express their ideas to people. Hence parents need to take a cognizance of this and work on them consciously.
- Safety culture: The most troubling trend we are witnessing around us is a complete lack of safety consciousness among people, resulting in accidents and great loss of human possibilities. The sad part is people consider lack of safety precautions as a sign of being strong and brave. It’s the solemn duty of parents to instil a culture of safety in children so that they always take due precautions and remain safe.
- Money matters: Children, who don’t have a clear idea about money, like how it is earned, saved and spent, etc. becomes irresponsible and careless about money. It is more problematic when the family is affluent and their careless spending might even lead to abuse and other extra-legal activities, which might turn out to be a big trouble for the family and future of the child. Hence, it is important to make children conscious and aware about money matters to make them responsible future citizens.
- Digital duniya: The world today has become dominated by digital and interconnected gadgets. There are many advantages of this digital proliferation but it also poses many threats. From screen addiction to cybercrimes and social media bullying and stalking. In fact, since it is evolving by the second, it is impossible to even list them all, and hence parents should very carefully enable the children to carry themselves through this maze unscathed and always remain safe.
I am sure that when parents are conscious about these areas and adopt them in their parenting policy and practices, they will be able to pay attention to all vital aspects and ensure that the children grow to become good persons, overall. Just don’t get bogged down by the list as they are already part of most parenting practices, the only difference is that here we are trying to consciously pay attention to them.
While concluding this article, I would like to remind you of one very important fact that in the same way as parents don’t like preaching, children also don’t. Children idolise their parents and like to copy what the parents are practicing and not follow what they are being told. Hence, parents also need to evaluate and review their own habits and practices and try to do the required corrections. It will not work if you continue to stick to your cell phone and try to limit the screen time for the children. Parenting gives the parents also a chance to become better persons.
In the forthcoming issues we will take up these topics one by one. I hope you find the list logical. I think it covers all the aspects that parents need to pay attention to, while engaging in this most important endeavour of their life. However, if any reader feels that some more aspects deserve to be added to this list, I would love to know about them and add the same. Let’s make the 360° parenting a collaborative journey, where we all can help each other learn the fine and effective parenting practices.
Please feel free to write back on ojha_delhi@rediffmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks and happy parenting.