Snehanky Chattopadhyay
“I swear it feels like I am trapped”; “I don’t know what else to do”; “I feel very happy” – these were the sentiments echoed throughout the period of plague of the 21st century aka Covid. I remember during that time having to counsel people who were alarmingly frustrated with the social restrictions – social distancing, curfew and masks. Don’t get me wrong – they liked not having to meet relatives and a few took advantage of the time to get married in closed ceremony. However, most of them by the second wave were either in grief or dismay over the lack of autonomy and freedom. Aristotle once said man is a social animal by which we meant that community is an integral part of the fabric of a person. It is essential for the development of personal identity and works as an exercise of reason. Ask yourself – whenever you need to make a decision whether it is small such as buying a car or changing jobs or even buying a flat – don’t we usually take the opinion of others?
The period of Covid led to a decline in mental health, giving rise to loneliness, depression, anxiety and social isolation. Social isolation is more of an objective state of an individual’s social environment and interactional patterns whereas loneliness is more of a subjective perception. The comfort space soon shrunk to an individual’s room. People found it difficult to go out and socialise. They were more than happy with food being delivered and streaming and binging on streaming devices, instead of getting ready and going out for the night. This again had an impact on their mental health. Some people lost confidence in themselves, while others experienced social anxiety while going out to social events. Still others chastised themselves for not learning a new skill during the period of lockdown.
In the current environment, when there are no restrictions and Corona seems like a distant nightmare, people have gotten back to socialising. Even though some still lack the confidence, but the digital age has been kind to the time we are inhabiting. Interpersonal relationships have become much easier to keep oneself connected – albeit they come with their own set of problems. On one hand, staying connected has never been easier, on the other hand some may argue it has led to more social isolation. With social media apps, the ‘cut-out life’ or the perfect life is easy to falsify. It sets a benchmark that people strive to achieve, and others find it hard to maintain the mirage. In fact, it has led to more body image issues and relationship dissatisfaction as people (including teenagers) keep comparing themselves to the illusion of social media.
The question it asks is, how do I go about socialising? Humans are social animals, and we need a sense of community and belongingness. In fact in Maslow’s hierarchy, belongingness is seen as a growth need. The effects of socialising are overwhelmingly positive. In children, it helps in developing social skills that set them up for life, it brings about personality development which turns an individual into a well-adjusted person. For the benefit of mental health, it has been studied that strong social roots decrease the chances of anxiety, improves mood and depression and is seen as a protective factor. Having a community of people to rally behind you also leads to being more confident and longer life span.
The idea is simple – step out! Let’s look at the ways which will help you become more social.
Small talk: Make small talk with the people you may meet on a daily basis, even a simple smile or nod works wonders in uplifting your mood.
Spend more time with family: Start by working on the current relationships you have with your family members. Find a way to connect with your mother, father, sibling, extended family, partner, children. Do it with the people in your family, that you are comfortable with – one at a time. Don’t over extend yourself but do it quietly and at the pace you are comfortable with.
Maintain physical and mental activities: Have one event scheduled for the week. It could be a hobby class, a comedy show or even a book club. There are walks or even classes on perfume making, coffee and art that happen around the city, which help to explore new places, maintain novelty in life and chance meeting of new people.
Connect with social media: With any invention, there is a correct and efficient way to use it to your benefit. Use social media to expand your horizon, stay connected to old acquaintances and maybe even make new friends. Spread positive messages and uphold each other to better etiquette. Don’t fall into the trap of responding to trolls.
Log off: For a day, restrict your usage of phone, laptop, streaming devices and instead meet a friend or mentor, do pottery or go to a museum. Try to connect with people around you in a genuine manner.
Socialising is an important characteristic of human behaviour. Having people you can depend on gives you strength to face the difficulties of life. Make your own little world, decorate it with relationships and fill it with experiences.
The author is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She is also a certified mindfulness trainer.