A Journey Through Self-Doubt and Self-Love
Arushi Brotia
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It was a quiet Saturday evening when I connected with Prerna Panwar, the acclaimed actor from Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise Bhi. Juggling with her book launch the author enthusiastically spoke to The Mind Diaries about her debut book, What’s Wrong with Me?
She discussed the lessons learned from battling self-doubt, and overcoming personal challenges to rediscover self-love. The book is a raw and inspiring account for anyone struggling with their own self-questioning.
Some excerpts from the interview.
What inspired you to write What’s Wrong with Me? And what do you hope the readers will take away from it?
The idea came to me in 2019 when I was questioning myself, “What’s wrong with me?” Even though I was managing to appear fine on the outside, I was struggling internally. As I started talking to others, I realised that this was a common feeling – it wasn’t just me. So, I began writing as a way of processing these emotions.
Initially, I was unsure about sharing these thoughts publicly, but as I wrote, I saw the lessons unfold. This book is about understanding that self-doubt doesn’t define you. It’s about choosing to look at challenges from a different perspective. The book’s cover reflects this idea – a girl standing at the edge of a mountain, deciding whether to leap or pause and embrace the beauty of the world around her. It’s a metaphor for how we choose to face our struggles.
Out of the 14 lessons in your book, is there one that feels particularly close to your heart?
Two chapters stand out to me. The first is Self-Love. It’s a vital part of the journey. You can’t change anyone else; change has to begin with you. Self-love isn’t about external comforts – it’s about understanding and accepting yourself. One of my favourite ways to practise this is through simple acts like enjoying a quiet moment with a coffee.
The last chapter, This Life at Play, speaks to spirituality. It’s about understanding that life isn’t just about the material – it’s about energy, emotions, and connection. It’s about sitting with yourself and learning to observe your thoughts. This chapter is about embracing life’s simplicity and beauty.
How did revisiting moments of self-doubt during the writing process impact you personally?
Revisiting self-doubt was both difficult and rewarding. At times, I felt sadness and loss when reflecting on past challenges, but it also made me realise how much I’ve grown. Writing the book reinforced my resilience. I’ve always been quick-tempered, but through these reflections, I’ve learned to respond differently. Challenges are opportunities for growth, not obstacles.
I’ve also included doodles in this. Including hand-drawn doodles in the book was my way of adding a personal touch – it felt like journaling, where you naturally scribble your thoughts and feelings.
Can you share an example of how you turned a personal challenge into an opportunity for growth?
Rejection is always a redirection. In these 10-plus years that I have spent as an actor I was rejected but I chose that to make myself better, and saw that as an opportunity. A significant challenge was the journey of publishing my book. I approached five big publishers, and only one replied with a rejection. The rest didn’t even respond. It was discouraging, but I eventually chose self-publishing. The process wasn’t easy, and it tested my patience, but I saw it as an opportunity to perfect the book. The delays allowed me to reflect on the content and ensure it was authentic.
What was the biggest challenge you faced in publishing this book, and how did you overcome it?
The biggest challenge was finding the right publisher and navigating the self-publishing process. Waiting for things to fall into place – whether it was the content, the design, or the production – was difficult. But I used this time to reflect, making sure the book truly represented my story. It was a lesson in patience and staying true to my vision.
If you could share one key piece of advice with someone battling self-doubt, what would it be?
My advice is simple: You’re not alone. Self-doubt is something we all face. Remember, nothing is wrong with you. You have the power to transform your life. Focus on activities that bring you joy and peace – whether it’s music, nature, or time spent with yourself. It’s important to make yourself a priority because if you’re not at peace, it’s hard to make others happy. Life is simple; we often complicate it. Start with love and kindness, and everything else will follow.
While writing this book, was there a moment when you discovered something about yourself that surprised or changed you? How has that discovery influenced the way you see yourself today?
I was initially uncertain about writing a book. I thought, “Can I really do this?” But finishing it showed me that I am capable of so much more than I realised. This book reinforced my belief that we can achieve anything if we commit to it. It has empowered me to believe in myself and in the power of following through with dreams. If I can do this, anyone can!
