It is crucial to express oneself
Prachi Raturi Misra
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It is a still monsoon day, the kind where sleep comes uninvited when you are home in a comfortable setting, where time feels like it is either passing too quickly or not moving at all.
A few years ago, on days like this a young mother, lay quietly, her children by her side, looking out of her window, trying to find her old, familiar world of paints and canvas, pencils and paper, with thoughts of the unwashed utensils and clothes to be folded crowding her already crowded mind.
A few weeks ago, this mother who reclaimed her identity as an artist, Khushboo Upadhyaya Soni, stood at Triveni Kala Sangam interacting with guests who had come to see her exhibition Daayra: With a Pinch of Vermilion. Khushboo’s work inspired by her years of being a stay at home mom, wife, homemaker and artist spoke louder than her soft voice.
Born in Mirzapur, educated in Banaras, the artist who now lives in Mathura, speaks many unspoken words through her work and her exhibition of 40 artworks was a testimony to that.
She frequently uses a pressure cooker as a powerful symbol or a pigeon net that shows caged feeling of sorts for a married woman.
Khushboo spoke to The Mind Diaries about her work, the need for expressing one’s emotions, the importance of mental well-being and more. Excerpts from the interview.
Please tell us about some of your recent work.
My exhibition, Daayra: With a Pinch of Vermilion, is based on the years after marriage which showed me a very different world from the one before marriage. Through my work, I explore the theme of gender equality, and the social boundaries for women, be it women who go out to work or women who manage their homes.
Some gender stereotypes created by society have been passed down from generation to generation.
And though it was difficult to find myself in this new chaos, parts of which I loved, it was important, nevertheless.
So I began seeing art in the mundane. Be it heaps of utensils kept to be rinsed, clothes kept out for drying, or the pigeon net outside. In fact, when I saw the net I often wondered, “These nets have been put to keep pigeons out but they seem to be flying freely, while I seem to be the one bound.”
My art in several ways became cathartic for me, it helped me reconnect with myself in a deeper way.
What are some of the lessons you learnt in this journey of self-discovery?
The biggest, I think has been the need to express. As women, our challenges are completely different from men. Also even though marriage is an equal partnership, the woman because of her role in bringing up children and her sense of responsibility for her home, combined with the societal norms, ends up putting more pressure on herself.
But when I began expressing myself through my art, not only did it help me deal with myriad emotions but also helped me create something that I see a lot of women identify with. At this exhibition, for example, I saw a woman with a hand on her chest as she looked at a work with her mouth agape. So many women came up to me to say, they identify so much with what they saw in the paintings. That for me was the biggest high.
Why is mental health and well-being important?
If our mind is healthy, our body will follow. As somebody who went through postpartum low as a mother, I realised the importance of mental well-being. Also being homebound can sometimes add to those feelings of self-doubt, low self-worth, etc.
So even though you might see a lot of pressure cookers in my work, depicting pressures of daily life, it is also important to remember the same pressure cooker also has a whistle to let off steam. One must also remember that in real life mental health and well-being is crucial. Only when our mind is healthy will our body be healthy, only then will we live to our best potential.
What are some of the things you would tell women from your experience as an artist and a woman?
As an artist, my work is meditation for me. I find art in everything around me.
I would like to tell all women that all of us have a special gift, all we need to do is look inwards.
As a mother, who has both a son and a daughter, I am working consciously to inculcate the same set of values in both.
I also make sure to find time to step out of the home, however briefly. It could be for a walk. Being with oneself is important, something we women often forget in our everyday lives.