Bhavya Jain
“So what are we?” Honey, they don’t know that and neither do you. That is why your relationship would be classified as, what we call nowadays, a situationship. There’s a connection, certainly, but there is no commitment. One day you’re just friends and the next night maybe something more. Therefore, we define situationships as a state where emotional intimacy exists but there is no commitment of a romantic relationship.
In today’s world, there has been a significant rise in such arrangements. Maybe it’s the fear of commitment, the false sense of options from dating apps, or maybe we’re all just so emotionally drained that anything serious feels like too much. Whatever the cause, situationships have become the new ‘normal’ in the modern age.
They occupy a gray area between friendship and relationship, as per the convenience of the individuals involved. You are ‘more than friends’ or ‘just seeing where things go’, and obviously very casual with each other. There is no commitment, no clarity, and no boundaries or expectations about the future. You’re romantically involved, maybe even emotionally invested, but left unclear about where you stand.
For Gen Z, or even millennials, situationships can feel freeing at the beginning, there are no expectations to fulfill, just enjoying each other’s company and ‘vibing’. But why are they so often emotionally damaging? According to therapists, situationships can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and stress. Attachment theory tells us humans are wired for emotional bonds, and the absence of clarity can trigger deep insecurities. When relationships lack labels, you end up making statements like Meredith Grey’s infamous words “Pick me, Choose me, Love me”. You’re left worrying about how the other person feels, scared to have the ‘talk’, and playing it cool to avoid vulnerability, while inside, you’re anything but calm.
Studies show nearly half of young adults have been in a situationship, with most reporting negative emotional impacts when it ends. The lack of closure is particularly damaging, because you can’t mourn something that was never official, yet the emotional wounds are very real. In the age of instant gratification, these undefined bonds can become one-sided, with one partner investing far more than the other. Over time, this can erode trust, make it harder to form secure attachments, and replace genuine romance with what some call a ‘half-love’ culture.
Situationships, while offering freedom, often involve uncertainty, lack of commitment, and minimal communication – precisely the opposite of what psychologists say healthy relationships need. Ambiguous dynamics can lead to anxiety, rumination, and self-doubt. There is intimacy without safety, vulnerability without validation. In a culture where emotional unavailability is romanticised, many blame themselves when the real issue is the absence of mutual commitment. You end up wondering, “Am I not enough?” and feeling too scared to ask for clarity because you already suspect the answer will hurt. Emotional instability bleeds into other relationships, and the absence of closure leaves wounds you can’t name. Wanting clarity is not being ‘too much’ – it is self-respect.
Maybe what we really want isn’t more swiping, more almosts, or more ‘seeing where it goes’. Maybe it’s something simpler – to feel chosen, safe, and seen without constantly guessing where we stand. Love was never meant to feel like waiting. Casual should not mean careless, and freedom should not cost you your mental peace.
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The author is the founder of That Happiness Project. She is an I/O Psychologist and Integrative Psychotherapist committed to promoting positive mental health and breaking the stigma around therapy. In addition to running a successful startup that has grown into a recognized mental health space, supporting over 2000 clients and conducting more than 200 workshops across India, she also led a year-long pro bono initiative. She partnered with schools and non-profits to make mental health support accessible to underserved communities, driven by her core belief that therapy should be available to all.