This time, the glow up is irreversible. The growth mindset permeates the very DNA. You’re not afraid, standing at the threshold of something new because ‘courage is the root of change—and change is what we’re chemically designed to do.
Gunjan Pant Pande
…
I told her to go where she was celebrated and she went straight back to herself
– Anonymous
There’s just something about quotes. With me, they resonate at the soul level. I often forget who said the words, but the underlying thought sears indelibly into me tossing against the uneven shore of my psyche sometimes like gentle waves lapping white sands, sometimes like choppy waters bursting forth nudging me in a certain direction. Right now, as I sit down to pen what I choose to call my ‘five-step Kintsugi journey of soul searching’, I flip back the pages of my diary only to discover yet another string of pearly wisdom highlighted with my neon marker on the very first day I started journaling.
Most people don’t realise how hard it was to choose yourself when it meant losing what you once thought you needed.
Deep. Heartfelt. Nerve-wracking even.
However, once I chose ‘myself’ there was just no going back girl. The learning curve came a full circle here and all the so-called mistakes magically alchemized into beautiful ‘life lessons’ that have now become stepping stones to my life’s higher purpose. It’s like once you dare to be you, once you consciously choose to become your own peaceful retreat, the broken heart and confused mind suddenly open up to limitless possibilities.
This time, the glow is irreversible. The growth mindset permeates the very DNA. You’re not afraid, standing at the threshold of something new because “courage is the root of change – and change is what we’re chemically designed to do,” Bonnie Garmus reminds me in Lessons in Chemistry.
Kickstarting Kintsugi of the soul then
- The non-negotiables: For me this was probably the breakthrough move towards jumpstarting my healing. YOU got to know YOU first, and then set stuff in stone. The non-negotiables aka me-time, which can be anything from slow mornings to meditation to solo travelling to closed friends’ group to fitness regimen to just sitting near a river listening to birdsong! Nothing and no one has the permission to come in the way here. It’s a sacred ritual and the more you accept your own need to fulfill your ‘to-be’ list, the more you break free from the vicious Superwoman syndrome. Remember: The good life unfolds, through time. It is a process. It includes turmoil, calm, lightness, burdens, struggles, achievements, setbacks, leaps forward, and terrible falls.
- Boundary setting: If non-negotiable primarily be things you tell yourself, boundary setting is explicitly things that you dare to tell others. Finally. It’s you drawing a line that people around you – friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, acquaintances – are NOT permitted to cross. Remember: The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones benefitting from you having none.
- Breaking the generational curse: This is something like a life purpose especially for anyone who’s been there and done that. You’ve seen it all, you’ve heard it all, you’ve borne it all – you’ve survived. Time now to stand up, fight back and put a stop once and for all to the generational curses. Tell yourself every time you write that gratitude journal that ‘this stops here’. With me. I will do my best to prevent it from passing on to Gen Next. Consider it the bidden duty of your healed version.
Remember: You are breaking the generational curse that’s why things don’t come so easy for you. You’re the one your bloodline has been waiting for.
- Occupying space: To me, as a woman, occupying space which obviously has a deeper connotation in the physical, mental, spiritual, intellectual, financial and emotional context in the final nail in the coffin of any sort of limiting beliefs that ever hindered you from being the authentic you!
Remember: The ocean does not apologise for its depth and the mountains do not seek forgiveness for the space they take, and so neither shall I.
- Kaizen: As much as I love Ikigai and all the living in the moment, friendships, smiling and reconnecting with nature that come with it, it’s Kaizen that stirs my soul a 0.001 per cent more. Strictly speaking, it may be classified as ‘business philosophy for improved productivity’, but since when has philosophy confined to strict definitions. To me then it becomes a process of knowing, flowing, Gemba grounding, empowering and implementing your very own growth model.
Remember: Kaizen is the belief that small changes over time can create huge life changes.
These five aspects then form the fundamental of my change paradox. And just like the Japanese art of Kintsugi repairs broken pottery with gold making the broken object unique and precious, I too decided to navigate life’s imperfections by turning adversity into opportunity. An opportunity to reframe the meaning of my life.
After all, a “good life is one where you strive to be the best version of yourself, always learning and growing. Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey,” a journey of precious moments, experiences and relationships.